Most days it hurts to walk. Today is one of them.

I awoke this morning with stiffness and thought nothing of it. I swing my legs out of bed and go to stand up. Stabbing pain flashes as my leg muscles spasm and I fall back on to the bed.

Behind me, my partner stirs. “You okay?” He asks. I nod in the dark even though he can’t see me, not trusting myself to speak.

I try to wil myself through the pain. I count.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

I try standing again and the pain is still there, but not nearly so jarring. I have to force my legs to move, taking it one step at a time, until I make it to the bathroom.

Once there, I sti on the toilet and breathe deeply, waiting for the spasms to stop. I look down at my calfs and they look swollen; I know that once the spams stop, they will look normal again.

They remind me of the Elephant man. I have Elephant Man legs.

I bathe and then brush my teeth, careful to not put my weight on both my legs at the same time in case they decide to spasm again or give out under me. I put my weight on my left leg, then my right leg, as if I am balancing on a tightrope.

I guess in a way I sort of am.

I finish grooming and head back to the bedroom to dress, careful to move slowly. Pain is still shooting up my legs and making my joints cry out. Dressed, I go to the living room, each step like walking on glass or needles.

I have never been very fond of needles.