Today has been a good day. As good a day can be.
My legs didn’t hurt today, but that usually means that the pain will creep somewhere else. It’s as if it chooses where to target me each day, selecting which body part has a bulls eye painted on it.
Today it is my shoulders and my back.
I can feel the muscles throbbing and moving underneath my skin. My left shoulder especially. It’s as if I have music inside me that wants to get out. If I think of the spasms as music, it helps; it doesn’t hurt as much.
I let my body feel the throbs, letting my brain turn it into a beat, a rythm that thumps out of me. If I close my eyes, I can listen to the other instruments that sing along with that beat: a piano, soft and subtle. Maybe a saxaphone, a wailing that seems to match the pain.
I almost feel like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins, but it’s all in my mind.
When you live with pain on a daily basis, you find your own way of coping with it, your own way of dealing with it.
Perhaps the spasms are really morose code, tapped out to enemy spies, revealing the secrets of my insides? I know not.
I only know that the discomfort is always there and that some days it is impossible to be numb to it.