I cringed when I heard the alarm and the announcement to vacated the building. Someone told me that it would be all right, that fires in office buildings or fire drills were fairly common. It wasn’t the possibility of fire that worried me.

It was the stairs.

We were eight floors up. I knew that I would have to go down them. Entering the stairwell, I looked down at the curving stairs, worming their way to the bottom. I was terrified. I have no balance on the stairs, fall going up them or down them quite often.

It would take all my concentration to not fall. I was worried that I would fall into or on someone. Thankfully my co-workers had my back. One took the stairs in front of me, one on the side and one behind me.

All I had to do was concentrate on the stairs, on climbing down the mountain. I held on to the railing for dear life and was very careful, almost exaggeratedly so, with each step. I started my counting at the top and kept starting over when I got to another floor:

8

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty.

7

 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty.

6

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty.

And so on.

Eighty five steps. There were eighty five steps. Each one felt like I was trusting myself to the fates, to the unknown. Anything could happen but it didn’t. I made it down okay, I survived the climb down the mountain.

Now it is afterwards and I am paying for the climb down. My legs feel as if they are hardened jelly that has been set afire. As I sit here typing this, I can feel parts of my legs spasming and burning. The muscles are hard yet feel like they are made of liquid.

What energy reserves I had built up are gone. Apparently I look pale and unwell. But I feel victorious. I didn’t fall down the steps. I did not fall down and I kept walking.

And I will keep walking, two steps at a time…