I’ve been looking at myself in the mirror a lot lately.
I wonder, however briefly, how someone can love someone that looks like I do; knobby knees and legs that are too long. Muscles that spasm and shock the body, making me hunch over.
I have been saddened by my body lately, not just by my legs. I know that everything is connected, that the pain I feel when my body spasms takes over my whole body, my mind, not just the area that is convulsing.
The pain goes into the skin, under the skin. I can see it like an ink that floods its way through my blood, through me, filling me with doubt and with dismay which always seem to go hand in hand.
Another spasm fills my legs like water, like stone, and I wonder if the stone will pull me down one day when I am not looking.
At the same time, I think of The Good Things, I count, I breathe.
And the stone melts, waiting for it’s chance once again.