I have been quiet lately.
This is not due to depression, thank goodness. It is simply due to the fact that life has taken me up in a whirlwind and has only just put me down again. For the past while, I’ve been consumed in a routine: Go to work, go home, write. Go to work, go home, write. Can you guess what I’ve been writing?
I’ve been writing my memoir titled One Step at a Time. So, while I have been quiet, I have been active. And I have some amazing news to share with all of you:
The memoir is finished.
I wrote the last page just under a couple hours ago. If I still smoked, this would be where I would light up a cigarette. Though I can’t compare the experience of writing this memoir to sex, I can compare it to a journey.
And, indeed, it has been one. It has helped me heal more than I thought possible and I have learned more about myself while putting its words down on paper than I thought I could know.
One thing is clear to me, however: this is the most important piece of writing I have ever written. It is certainly not my favourite as it’s caused me many sleepless nights, nightmares, temper tantrums. You name it and I’ve had it because of writing this book.
But I’ve never had the feeling I do now of being free; of having a weight lifted off of me, a weight that I wasn’t even aware I was carrying. The chalice that rests inside me finally feels whole again and I can breathe without feeling any pain.
That’s not to say that my Cerebral Palsy has all of a sudden gone away, my family has welcomed me back with open arms and everything is okay. But it does mean that I feel better about myself now, I feel better about being me.
I couldn’t ask for anything more.
Now that the memoir is finished, I can finally get back to regular blogging, regular writing and other projects that have sat by the wayside. I’m giving it a day and then I’m going to delve into a read through and a little bit of editing.
Then it’s off to the publisher.
I only hope that the publisher enjoys it. It is my sincere hope that they do and that they do not find it too depressing or badly written. I’ll have to cross my fingers and toes but not my eyes. I’d bump into things that way and I do that enough already.
I’ve also submitted a proposal for a second memoir to my wonderful publisher. I can only hope that I’ll be able to continue my story. So, much like before, I will have plenty to worry about.
But I also have plenty to be joyous about as well.
One (or rather several) of those things is you. Yes, you, reading this blog right now. You have read my words, found enjoyment from them and been enlightened by them. You have sent me emails and comments letting me know how touched you are by my words and I can’t thank you enough.
I write for me, for myself but it is a treat, a pleasure and a privilege to write for you. So thank you, reader. I’ll be back on track in a day or two. Your patience means the world to me.
Now that one story is finished I can finally continue to tell another.
Congrats, Jamieson. Very well said.
I felt the same way after I finished “Myths of the Fatherless.” While I hoped to help others, it helped me most of all and it helped my father understand what I had gone through growing up without him. Overall, it was very satisfying in the end, although quite dramatic along the way.
Sending good thoughts for getting your memoir published.
You have a very special talent for naming the feeling, thought, action of what’s going on in your life. Your courage to put it out there in painfully honest terms is most inspiring.
I’m planning to use NaNo to finally grab my ghosts and wrestle them to paper — the ones who’ve been directing so much of my life for so many years. Maybe it is possible to tame them, or at least establish Alpha position with them. It’s scary, but it’s time.
Thanks for all that you share with the Musers. Do you ever sleep? Even if your fulltime job was doing this writing (is it?), there’s so much of it. Share the secret!
And good vibes sent your way about publishing your memoir.