Sharp pains are climbing up my legs like vines.
I can’t lift my feet properly today, it seems. Every time I go to take a step, I trip over my own feet. I try to remember what the therapist used to tell me (picture it, Jamie: Heel, toe, heel, toe) and feel like a drag queen contestant learning to walk in high heeled shoes.
It does no good. I keep tripping. I can feel the eyes of a co-worker looking at me as she walks behind me. I pay her no mind and keep walking, my right foot twisting on me. I stumble forward a bit and ignore it, I keep walking.
I feel like everyone is looking at my feet today, but I know that’s mostly my imagination. Walking back to my desk, I trip again, dress shoes scuffing against the thin gray carpet.
I can’t lift my feet properly, no matter how much I try today. If I force my feet to cooporate, my legs up the discomfort up a notch. The vines are knotting the muscles together, tightening them and even sitting, I know the Elephant Man is back, his Elephant Legs straining against the skin that holds them.
I let a song run through my head (today it is “I can see clearly now, the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way, gone are the dark clouds that had me down…it’s going to be a bright, bright, bright sun shiny day…”) to take my focus away from the jabs that feel like hot kisses on my legs.
I get so tired of counting sometimes.
Jamieson, I so love to read what you write. I think I am subscribed to everything of yours. 🙂 You have truly touched me with your posts on One Step at a Time. I wish you much luck and success on your book proposal. I have a cousin who has a child with CP and will definately recommend it (the book and blog) to her. Most would be bitter and unforgiving. You, however, are selfless and giving. What an awesome writer and person you are. I feel very lucky to have met you.